The little things

Some mornings I’ll wake up and tell myself today will be a good day. But I never make any promises. Life as I know it carries baskets of lemons and will have plans of its own. Opposite to my expectations. While there is that uncertainty, I still put any negative thought to the side and smile at my reflection, we’ve, I’ve got this. 

Truth, I haven’t always got it. While I’d schedule in gratitude prompts for the morning and affirmations for the evening. One slot remained vacant for the afternoon. There are some triggers that switch off what I’ve learnt for a good few minutes. Later making me regret my reaction. Is the positive me allowed to say no or is it always going to be yes sir three bags full sir? The answer, I’m not compelled to say yes and wrong three bags are not full. Throughout the rest of the day, there would be pockets of moments where I’d think about nothing but my reaction. All those but you could’ve said this or you could’ve said that would invite themselves. Perk up would be my response to myself. Though my regret is fine, it still doesn’t make me a bad person to say no, or choose self-respect over another’s disrespect. This goes to anyone who feels bad for saying no, myself included.

Alexa, please say no for me. 

That afternoon slot soon got filled. Today when I am triggered by unwanted negative emotions. I do the complete opposite to what I’m used to. Instead of burying those thoughts, I write full lists of all the silent angry thoughts and pent-up frustrations. Which not so surprisingly grows within seconds of the pen meeting paper. It’s a huge relief letting out negative burdens. The smallest upsets now make me laugh. I then proceed to rip the piece of paper(s) into tiny shreds and throw them away. Turning my bin into a rant catcher. There goes all that venting. Out of my system and into the trash, cleansing my mind. 

While little things may make me sad, I do little things to turn that frown around.

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