Waking up twice from a deep sleep in the middle of the night, was not fair on my body, especially not my eyes. My overthinking mind needed to give whatever it was thinking about a rest.
I awoke for the third and final time at almost 10 am, a little late for me, since my body clock’s rising time is 7 am. While I missed those three hours, the tiredness had to hit me at some point. As I did stay awake in the middle of the night, unable to go back to sleep. Counting sheep, in other words scrolling for miles on Insta did not help.
After going about my morning routine I grabbed two notebooks, one is for gratitude where I write my affirmations and the second for the negative things I need to get out of my mind. I started with the “let it out” journal (yes that’s what I call it, it’s got a rather nice ring to it). All the negative thoughts that I had been holding in for the past few days needed to be released. Once I got started the words just kept rolling out; one sentence turned into a paragraph, one paragraph turned into a full-page, one page turned into two A5 pages. When I reached the final sentence, appeased I had no more to spill, I dotted it with a dark and bold full stop. As if to make a resolute statement. I tore out the pieces of paper and ripped them to shreds, there went my undesired worries that consumed too much space. There’s something therapeutic or satisfying about neatly ripping paper into tiny pieces and watching them fall into the bin.
Next, I picked up my gratitude notebook and did the complete opposite to what I wrote earlier. This was a longer process, as positivity should always outweigh negativity. I began by writing affirmations, all the things I’m grateful for and added a few manifestations. Being a visual person, I enjoyed watching the pen flow as I wrote, seeing the letters form in front of me in purple ink. My positive thoughts smoothly pouring out into visible words. I read each line as I went, not worried about any grammatical error or how inane my thoughts sounded. To me alone they resonated fulfillment.
There’s something potent about positive words. “I am loved” read those three words again and again and again to yourself.