Living in the state of limbo for months took a heavy toll on me. At first, what seemed like excitement turned out to be the complete opposite. I was unprepared for the unprecedented times. Now that I look back over the months I can say it was still a lesson well learned. Though I couldn’t fathom that at the time, unable to see anything past my anxiety. Unwittingly I was carrying a bucket load of negativity shaped as an orthotope. They were stored away in the furthest, darkest corners of my mind. It only took one to slip for the others to topple over like a row of dominoes. The pieces didn’t fall neatly in a satisfying sequence, no, they collapsed on top of one another, a mismatch of clutter. I watched them fall one by one in slow motion, unable to stop them.
Today, I’m happy most of the toxins have been removed. It wasn’t until I started manifesting that I realised something wasn’t right. I kept telling my friend “I’m doing it all wrong, I know I am, I can feel it”. I felt a blockage in my vibration. However, that didn’t stop me from trying. I watched YouTube videos about how to manifest and why my manifestations were not working. Every single response was the same, it was all about the intention and vibration. I turned to breathing exercises, my mind and heart needed stillness. Practising a breathing routine daily helped as I felt the blockage decrease slowly, until one day I told myself “I just don’t care anymore, I’m content with my life, I’m happy, so why am I worrying?”. I said it over and over until I felt the words “I don’t care”. From that moment on, I felt a new vibration. One that was free, free from trying, free from want.
Cracking down on my goals and pursuit for happiness. I’m excited to manifest every day. I look forward to writing down my affirmations and all the things I’m grateful for. I take my time jotting down all the negative emotions ensuring they’re all out of my system.