Jan 21st: Looking out my bedroom window, I’m wary of the repetition of each unchanging hour. Gazing up at the dull sky I watch the mixed shades of blue and grey change in front of me. The gradient of light turning to dark. I’m afraid to look away. I may miss the fleeting sun before it begins to set below my horizon, behind bricked buildings. There’s no stopping the seconds from ticking. Each tick leads me closer to a new day.
Every time I look at the date I see how close we are to the end of the month. How are there only 10 days left? January isn’t Januring anymore. It’s not the same January feeling that always lasted 73 days, an odd number, but Jan has always been an odd month.
Sometimes I whisper to yesterday “come back, I had more to do”. And, I whisper to tomorrow “give me a few more hours, I’m not done yet”.
Yesterday I finished reading a book called Secrets of Divine Love, the spiritual side of self-love. I first heard about this book through Instagram recommendations and decided to read it for myself. Coming to the final full stop and turning the last page over, I already began missing the book. The journey through the chapters has been a wonderful adventure full of enlightenment. The words will live on as mini-lessons in my mind. A paragraph I highlighted and read over and over to myself “you are far more beautiful than mirrors can sing about, you are far too intricate for language to weave into words because you are the product of divine love that is holy and infinite that finite hands fall short in painting your truth.”