I write this post under a beautiful damp, sun-setting backdrop, with plenty of gusty wind and a long-overdue hope for early summer weather. I’ve missed writing my heart out. Sharing my random ramblings. As a blogger who used to post frequently, I really am moving at a snail’s pace. Absence I can tell you really does make the heart grow fonder. With my room now set up, my computer up and running and Costa open for indoor seating, I will be posting more often, fingers crossed. I have many thoughts that I’d like to share, early apologies if there is a load of repetition.
On Instagram, I always scroll down to read the jocose captions. I recently read this phrase under an influencer’s picture: “access to my energy is a privilege”. I instantly took a liking to it and Googled it to see who was the brain behind the quote, while my two-page search fizzled out quickly, I still found plenty of Pinterest worthy images of the phrase labelled under the category motivational quotes.
An on and off year of self-isolation taught me just this. Locked up with my inner demon inmates for a long period. I feel braver when it comes to challenging and charging at them head-on. Having had all the time in the world to reflect, zero places to look for distraction and running out of hiding spots to take cover from those prickling thoughts I’d once throw in the back of my mind. I’ve come a long way with my energy and adapting to having a clearer mind. I’m on the right path.
The final duration of lockdown 3.0 did raise a few questions. Why did I feel that? What could I have done differently? Did it help me in any way? Will I benefit from this? My answers are still pending as they change every day. Although I can answer one question, what can I take away? The answer being the experience.
Pre lockdown 1.0 I was able to avoid thoughts I didn’t want to touch base on. Post lockdown 3.0 that’s not something I want to do. My energy has changed, I’ve changed. If I’m honest half of the negative thoughts I faced were instilled into me from external negative talk. Regardless of the words being said directly or indirectly I still heard them loud and clear. Therefore, slowly deflating my mood.
My energy is currently being revived. Deleting all those infected thoughts. I’ve installed a virus checker into my mind. Those “WE’RE not good at that” or “are you sure you want to do that, it might not suit you” etc can take a boot.