Diary of a (easily distracted) wanderer

Gosh, it has been a hot minute. Hotter than the weather I’m currently experiencing. I’ve been writing but not posting, starting but not completing. So now I need to do a few throwbacks on my days off from work. Get my little playground up to date with my latest ramblings.

So here goes…

The other day I was telling my manager about the books I had recently purchased and read. It is after all the perfect season to curl up next to the heater with a cup of hot chocolate in one hand and a good novel or self-help book in the other. Though lately my attention is easily led astray. It takes more than a Stephen King thriller to keep my thoughts from drifting away. I can’t read past two pages (unless I’m at the last chapter) without being distracted, I fall for the lingering every time. My spam filter is a little broken. It doesn’t take much to divert my attention. I may look in the opposite direction with a book open in my hands.

I told her about a couple of books that were mentioned by a Youtuber/ neurologist (Naza Nalani) in two of her videos. I’d stop and play (rewind, like the olden days) to catch the book titles and write them down. I said I’d really like to know what other books she had stacked on her bookshelf. I want to grow my reading list and expand my shelves. My manager simply said, “well, why don’t you ask her?”. Good question, why don’t I just ask her? What’s stopping me? Apart from the fear of not getting a reply and her saying no. But that’s all in my head. So I pushed past my thoughts and took my manager’s advice and I did just that. I puckered up some courage and messaged the neurologist on Instagram, asking if she could recommend some more books. My question was sent and delivered. I didn’t wait, I left it and partly forgot all about it. To my surprise, she replied. The following day I went back to my manager and told her she replied with a list. To which she replied, “if you don’t ask you don’t get”.

How many times have I heard that quote? too many is the answer and it still feels new every time I hear it. It’s fitting to say I’m re-reading the first book of The Secret. Slowly getting through the second chapter. It’s clear that I play a key role in creating the life that I desire. However, this isn’t done through my thoughts alone, they set me off on the right path. I need to begin with positive thoughts that I will receive what I need, even if plan A doesn’t work. There’s always a plan B all the way to plan Z. Once I’ve told myself I will achieve my goal, I need to get out there, step away from my comfort zone and ask out loud for what I want. I say that as humbly as I can.

5 thoughts on “Diary of a (easily distracted) wanderer

  1. I’ve always had trouble asking for what I wanted. In friendships, in relationships, in everything quite honestly. I have been talking to this boy for the past three months, and this week I brought up the fact that I wanted him to put more effort into hanging out and reaching out to me. It was one of the most nerve wrecking things I’ve ever done. It felt like I was being too needy, that I was creating conflict. I threw my phone in my bedroom and walked away. I was so anxious, because what if my message wasn’t well received. Well I checked on my phone a little over 2 hours later, and got a pretty neutral reply, but it didn’t keep my thoughts from spiraling. Since then, we haven’t chatted much, which sucks, but after speaking to my therapist she made me realize that I did the right thing by telling him what I needed out of the relationship. Even if it doesn’t work out, I’m proud of myself. I’m proud of you for reaching out! And even better that you got a response!

    Melina | http://www.melinaelisa.com

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m sorry to hear that you haven’t spoken much. But am really proud of you for asking what you want. It’s so important to put ourselves first. I keep telling myself whats the worst that can happen when your intentions are good. And, if I am to hear a no, then its not the end of that, it’s the beginning of something else.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s really hard to stay positive when I honestly don’t really know where his head is at, but I’m trying to keep reminding myself, that whatever the outcome it’s going to be the best outcome for me overall

        Like

      2. It will be. You are so strong. Honestly being in such a situation where you are trying to do the right thing for everyone and then not knowing what the other person is thinking or planning is so hard. And it takes a lot of strength to go through that. I will say think about yourself and how you’re feeling. And see if he’s worth the stress.

        Liked by 1 person

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